A Sun Kissed Nightmare
by wurd-god
Summary: Haunted by her past, isolated by her gift, a young woman moves to a small town for a fresh start. But what happens when she realises she'll have to face the things she ran from so she'll be able to move forward with the man she loves? OC/OC, takes place around season two
1. Wading through the Living

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Ghost Whisperer or anything you recognize from it. _

_Please note: I've taken the universe from Ghost Whisperer and the characters but have heavily steered away from the canonical story line, adding a deeper emphasis on the darker aspects of the show. I'm pairing two OCs together for this story and running with everything I like in the show, leaving behind the undesirables. __**Please Enjoy and please review!**_

* * *

_**I**n this cry of pain the inner consciousness of the people seems to lay itself bare for an instant, and to reveal the mood of beings who feel their isolation in the face of a universe that wars on them with winds and seas.__ —John Millington Synge_

* * *

**Chapter One**

**Wading through the Living **

Tessa Bennings hiked her purse higher on her shoulder and slowly walked towards the nondescript diner, making sure she didn't touch any passers-by on the busy sidewalk. Opening the door of the diner, she cringed when a bell above the door chimed, "Have a seat anywhere." A woman's voice called out to her.

Keeping her eyes on the ground she nodded more to herself than anything, and walked straight to the counter, taking a seat on an empty red stool. She clutched her worn khaki coloured purse in her lap and made sure to keep her eyes downcast. The diner was brimming with morning activity, both alive and very dead: and by making herself as invisible as possible, it guaranteed a stress free breakfast. "What can I get you this morning?" A woman asked and Tessa peeked from her eyelashes making sure the server wasn't wearing torn bloody garments before smiling politely.

"May I please have a stack of pancakes and a glass of orange juice?" She asked clearing her throat from its hoarse disuse.

The older woman in a diner dress nodded, "Sure thing."

Tessa watched as the older woman walked to the other end of the counter to place the order and she quickly peeked at the diner's occupants through her peripherals. She wasn't used to being in such a small town, in fact, she still didn't think it was that good of an idea to move here. Having lived in New York City most of her life, she hadn't really seen anything but buzzing streets and even buzzier diners. But her birthday was fast approaching and she'd be damned if she would continue living a drab life because of her shitty past. No, it was time to turn over a new leaf, create a new Tessa Bennings that would be stronger than anything that haunting her.

She wished she could take all the credit for her move from New York City to the small town of Grandview but that would be lying and she did enough of that to herself already. Her move had been borne from necessity and seeing as how she had no real filial ties that considered her to still be living, she finally decided to stop her nomadic ways and set roots down. It would be harder for her to hide away from the dead in such a small community but she figured the farther away she was from her past, the harder it would be for the things that haunted her to find her. She heard footsteps approaching and waited until the food was placed down in front of her before looking up at the waitress, "Thank you." She quietly said.

"Enjoy. If you need anything, I'm Sharon." The older woman smiled at her.

"Thank you Sharon." She nodded and reached for the syrup, watching as the older woman walked away. She poured a large amount of syrup on her pancakes and began eating with zeal, she hadn't wanted to stop anywhere on her way to Grandview and so she had skipped a few meals along the way. Though to be honest, it had been quite a while since she actually wanted to eat, and maybe it was because of the sun shinning or maybe it was because she was starting fresh, hoping she wouldn't be haunted here.

0000000000000000

"Will you look at that poor girl?" Sharon commented, topping off the two cups of coffee across the diner from the young woman scarfing down the pancakes.

"Yeah, what about her?" Jim Clancy asked, checking his watch for the second time that morning. He felt terrible about leaving Melinda to have breakfast by herself but it had been a while since he had seen his friend Seb and with their schedules, it was next to impossible to hang out like they used.

Sebastian rolled his eyes and nodded his thanks to Sharon, taking a sip of the coffee, "Melinda is fine. God, you're acting like a newlywed." He smirked and stretched his neck, trying to roll out the kinks. He knew his job was high stress but he loved what he did, which sometimes worried him. What kind of a fool liked putting out fires for a living? Sometimes he wondered if he should have made the transition to paramedic like Jim had done.

"I know…it's just…" Jim trailed off, glancing across the diner to the woman Sharon was still chattering on about. He frowned to himself, feeling a cold slither of unease worm its way into the pit of his stomach.

"What?" Sebastian asked following Jim's gaze that settled on the small form of a young woman hunched over an almost empty plate, "She's really scarfing that down fast." He grimaced quietly.

Jim studied her and frowned, "Sharon, can you make sure to give her a piece of pie?" He asked.

Sharon glanced away from the girl to quizzically stare down at him, "At this time in the morning?"

Seb nodded, understanding Jim's misplaced worry, "She looks hungry." Though to be perfectly honest, he couldn't see most of her as she wore a shapeless coat that hid most of her and an even baggier knitted cap. But the way she was attacking the plate of pancakes, he felt a moment's pity for her.

Sharon nodded and walked towards the young woman and feeling like there was nothing else he could do, he turned to Jim. "Now what?" He asked frowning when Jim still didn't look away from her, "you're married." He pointed out not really sure why he didn't care for Jim's staring.

Jim snorted and turned to his friend, "She just reminds me of someone." He commented, shrugging it off to his friend. Though he couldn't shake her from his thoughts; it was true, she did remind him of someone. Whenever Melinda got spooked or withdrawn from talking to unnerving spirits, she always looked pale and defeated: just like that young woman across the diner. He shook his head and delved back into the conversation with Seb.

0000000000000000

"Another refill?" Sharon asked quietly with a tender smile upon her face.

Tessa returned a slight smile, "Yes, thank you." She nodded her thanks and took another large gulp of the refreshingly crisp orange juice and glanced back up at the staring older woman, "Yes?"

"Are you okay, sweetie?"

Despite the older woman being in her mid-fifties, Tessa felt her spine straighten. She always hated when people she wasn't familiar with used endearing terms, as if they could worm their way into her affection. It had never worked when she was younger being treated and it sure as hell didn't work now. She decided now was as good a time as any to pay and take her leave, "Of course. How much was my bill?" She asked politely.

Sharon shook her head, "Are you still hungry? Would you like another order of pancakes or…how about pie? I'll get you some apple pie."

Tessa sighed feeling like the scum on the bottom of her shoe, she hadn't meant to be so abrupt with the older woman but she honestly didn't feel like chattering on and on about her shitty life. She just had to keep reminding herself that Grandview wasn't New York City and they probably did things much differently here. She would have to compromise if she wanted to remain invisible, "Sure." She smiled pleasantly, "though, can I have the pie to go?" She asked smiling self-deprecatingly, "I have quite a few things left to do today while it's still bright."

Sharon smiled brightly, "Oh?"

Tessa smiled, not even feigning amusement, though Sharon was nosey, she reminded Tessa of the crazy-overbearing-mother she saw in a movie a few nights back, "I have to move into my apartment." She didn't bother adding 'job hunting' or 'grocery shopping'; she had spent most of her teenage and adult years keeping things to herself, it would take more than a sweet meddling older woman to break Tessa's habits overnight.

Sharon reached behind her and grabbed a freshly baked pie and large cardboard container from the counter and packed the entire pie into the white box, "That's lovely. You're going to be a local." She smiled genuinely, "What apartment complex?"

"The one on Elms Road." She said, not wanting to give her entire address away.

"Oh, well…" Sharon winced and leaned closer to Tessa, her white hair gleaming under the bright diner lights, "Make sure you keep your doors and windows locked at all times. That's not really the safe part of town."

Tessa smirked to herself, she didn't want to break it to Sharon that she was more terrified of things that couldn't be kept out by locks and doors than by men with knives, "Well, I'll make sure to keep that in mind. So, how much was breakfast?" She asked pulling out her wallet from her purse in her lap.

"Oh." Sharon shoved the container holding the pie across the counter to Tessa, "Everything is on the house. Consider it a welcoming gift to Grandview."

Tessa shook her head; her eyes bulging at the heaviness of the container and quickly estimated the total the bill should have come to. The last thing she wanted was to feel indebted to anyone, "Here's a sixty." Okay, so maybe it was a very hefty tip but she left it on the counter anyway, grabbed the container and her purse, and left the diner quickly so a stunned Sharon couldn't do anything more than stare.

Keeping her eyes and face adverted from the morning crowd; she crossed the street to where her used silver car was parked and unlocked it, setting the pie carefully on the passenger's seat before settling herself in the driver's seat. She had quite a few things to do today and she would preferably like to get them done before she got too tired and became careless.


	2. Ghosts of Ourselves

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own Ghost Whisperer or anything you recognize from it. **Thank you to every single one of you** (and to Michelle and Kailey12 since I can't reply to your lovely reviews)__. __**Please Enjoy and please review!**_

* * *

_**A**__lways there is an odd distance between you and […] the people you meet, a barrier thin as the glass of a mirror, you never come all the way out of the mirror; you stand, for the rest of your life, with one foot in this world and no one in another, where everything is upside down and backward and sad.__ —Marya Hornbacher_

* * *

**Chapter Two**

**Ghosts of Ourselves**

Steeling herself not to tremble, Tessa inserted the key into the lock of her new apartment door and forced herself to unlock it. She hated walking into unfamiliar rooms and though she was the only one to see them, she still felt terribly alone in that moment. She squared her shoulders and pushed the door open, darting her eyes around the one-bedroom apartment for any lingering presences before exhaling a relieved breath. She bent and picked up her three suitcases and a very large duffel, shoving them over the threshold: it wasn't much but it would do.

She kicked the door shut and pulled out the duct tape from her purse along with three empty garbage bags and hesitantly walked around her apartment. The walls at one point in their existence, would've been white if it weren't for the build up of dirt, dust, and years of grime, and the once hardwood floor was scratched and unpolished from years of abuse. She had the money to splurge and rent a much nicer and safer apartment in a better neighbourhood of Grandview but a place to sleep had never been a home for her and she refused to spend her savings on something she hated. After walking through the entire apartment, which didn't take that long since it was so small, she finally entered the bathroom, keeping her eyes lowered as she raised the garbage bag and began securing it in place over the mirror with duct tape. She had covered every shiny and reflective surface in her apartment with garbage bags and a stupid amount of tape, finally feeling marginally safer after the mirror was covered and the roll of tape almost finished.

Tessa dragged the duffel into the middle of the living room and unpacked everything, setting the ten flashlights and box of batteries to the side so she could unroll her tent. Setting up the large tent had taken her months of practice when she had first started sleeping in it, but now it was second nature and soon she lost herself to the methodical but very repetitious movements. She sighed, finally done setting the tent up, filling it with all of her creature comforts like a mound of pillows and blankets, boxes of dry cereal and snacks that could be eaten without needing refrigeration and finally lined up all of the flashlights around the inside of the tent. If one didn't know any better, one could say Tessa Bennings lived her life in the tent, too afraid of the outside world. And it would slightly be true since Tessa had survived so long by cautious fear alone. Feeling satisfactory with the way the tent was packed, she left her unzipped suitcases near the wall in the living room for ease and closed both the bedroom and bathroom door firmly shut. She wouldn't ever need to go into the bedroom and though there hadn't been any available, she still regretted not renting a bachelor's pad instead of a one-bedroom apartment. But it would do. Hopefully she could find a job with long hours so she wouldn't have to be cooped up in the four walls any longer than necessary. Glancing at her cellphone for the time, so far she was right on schedule. She had successfully moved into a ghost-free apartment and it wasn't even noon yet. She still had to go grocery shopping to fill her kitchen with essentials before she could pass out from exhaustion. The neighbourhood may be shady and the apartment complex was rundown but the one thing she didn't mind about it was the amount of ghosts walking around. They wanted nothing to do with her and most of them hadn't even registered her presence when she walked past them to her apartment. Though to be fair, most of them were going through the motions of living their nomadic lives of alcoholism, drug-abuse, or homelessness that they didn't even notice her faltered steps when she first spotted them. Neither her nor them wanted to acknowledge the others' presence, which was refreshing for her. Locking the apartment behind her, Tessa quickly jogged down the two flights of stairs to her car.

0000000000000000

"This must be The Square." She muttered to herself, looking around the heart of the town, scowling against the midday sun. Aside from the many differences with New York City, the most noticeable to Tessa was the shops. They were more personal…it was something she'd have to get used to. She began walking past the many window displays, hoping to find anything that either piqued her interest or—she faltered as she passed a small bookstore and slowly stepped backwards, re-reading the sign taped to the window. She tightened her grip on her purse and straightened her shoulders, pushing the glass door open.

She had wanted to go grocery shopping first but finding a job was just as necessary and if the bookshop was hiring, now was a perfect time as any. She kept her eyes averted away from the many rows of books and the whispered sounds of people milling about as she made her way to the counter where an older woman stood. Tessa plastered on a polite smile and cleared her throat trying to gain the older woman's attention.

The older woman smiled warmly, "How can I help you?"

"The sign on the window says you're hiring." She started quietly.

The woman nodded, "Yes we are. Are you interested in the job?"

Tessa nodded and pulled out a slightly wrinkled CV, handing it to the woman, "My name is Tessa Bennings."

"Candice Stewart." She smiled at Tessa before turning her attention back to Tessa's CV.

"I know I'm not really qualified…" She began alluding to her lack of education.

"Well, you finished high school…what's this?" She asked.

Tessa leaned over and nodded, "it's a community college out of state." She didn't bother mentioning she had never finished because it brought forward too many things she had spent years trying to forget.

Candice nodded, "You're very qualified with your work experience."

She smiled politely; one thing Tessa was proud of was her work experience. Working since she was in her early teens had been the only haven for her and it still was.

"What kind of hours are you thinking about?" Candice asked.

Tessa felt a thrilling shock pass through her at the idea of already landing the job. "Any and all. I'll cover all shifts, I can even work double shifts if you'd like. Full time?"

Candice nodded, "Yes. When can you start?"

"Uh…" She honestly hadn't thought of an exact date and for a second; her mind went blank at the direct question.

"How about tomorrow afternoon? Or is that too soon?" Candice grimaced at her own directness.

Tessa shook her head earnestly, feeling relieved she had something to occupy her time, "That sounds great."

They spoke for another hour, ironing out the minute details. Tessa didn't want to admit that the job wasn't so much for money but for survival. Jobs had only ever been the reason for her to crawl out of the tent every morning and this job was no different. She smiled her thanks and left, feeling her mood brighten greatly.

0000000000000000

"Are you having a party?" The clerk named John asked as he bagged the many, many bottles of hard liquor and beer.

She nodded, "Yup." Lying was second nature to Tessa and to buy three hundred dollars worth of alcohol meant she had to drive out of town but just to be safe, she lied politely. Tessa handed him her credit card and asked if someone could help carry the bags and cases to her car. Luckily, John was eager to help her and she once again thanked him, deciding she only had a few hours left of daylight before dusk fell. She nodded her thanks and stared at the trunk filled with enough alcohol to last a few months; it wasn't a perfect remedy and she hated it. But it worked and that was all she could ask for.

0000000000000000

"Tomato sauce or…tomato sauce." She quietly muttered to herself standing a few feet away from the vast array of jarred sauces. All she wanted was tomato sauce…she just didn't realise there were so many different brands and flavours. She hadn't even used this much brainpower contemplating her relocation than she was for this damned tomato sauce conundrum. She left the cart in the middle of the aisle and took a step towards a jar, "I feel like I'm making a life altering decision." She quietly commented. She grabbed two jars and nodded to them, "Will you tomato sauce with herbs be my lawfully wedded husband?" She smirked to herself and turned to put the jars in her cart, her heart stopping.

Tessa clutched the jars in her hands, shock pulsing through her veins when she found a man standing near her cart staring at her. Before he could say anything, she cast her eyes down and swallowed, "Sorry." She mutedly said wishing she had more sense than to talk to herself in a small town where people noticed such behaviour.

"I was going to get the zesty tomato kind but maybe I should reconsider and get tomato with herbs instead." He sombrely said.

She peeked up at him and found him staring at the large array of tomato jars, and nodded more to herself than anything. She didn't understand the social protocol for having a conversation after being caught marrying a few jars of tomato sauce so she kept her eyes down and edged towards her cart. She placed them gently in the cart and hunched her shoulders, feeling the familiar tingle settle at the base of her spine. Tessa shook her head and forced herself to remain calm, she was _not _going to be haunted in the grocery store, not when she had escaped New York City and moved to Grandview to get away from it.

Sebastian glanced at the girl in his peripherals, she had been pale before but now she had a green tinge to her skin. He shook his head and frowned to himself, there was something familiar about her but he couldn't place her. He grabbed jar of the same brand in her cart and stalked away, not wanting yet another distraction in his simple life. He had went out of his way to ease her awkwardness by making a stupid joke and if she couldn't appreciate that, than so be it. He had more important things to do than chatter with a ghost of a girl. He was covering Tony's evening shift and cooking dinner for the team and if he kept standing there like a fool wishing he had more things to say to the nervous girl, he'd be behind schedule and feel even more foolish than he already did. He shoved away the needling question at the back of his mind of why he even _wanted_ to go out of his way to ease her nerves and left, leaving her and his foolishness behind.

Tessa frowned and watched the man walk away, lifting her eyes to memorise every detail of him. She couldn't remember the last time a man had willingly spoken to her, hell, she couldn't remember the last time _anyone_ had willingly spoken to her. From what she had glanced, he had been comparatively tall though she really couldn't be the judge since she spent most of her time hunched. She shook off the encounter and ignored the insistent cold slithering up her spine, she figured the more she fought the sensation, the more she could deny reality. She had burned most of her possessions and threw out the rest: it wasn't possible she had been found so fast. She shivered and decided she could use some of the medicine lying in her trunk waiting for her, if only to forget for a little while.


	3. Fighting the Tides of Hopelessness

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Ghost Whisperer or anything you recognize from it. Thank you to every one of you and especially to those that reviewed, I appreciate it. __**Please Enjoy and please review!**_

* * *

_**T**__here is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or why or who you are. You want one and I want one, but there isn't one. It comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way.__ —Marya Hornbacher_

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**Fighting the Tides of Isolated Hopelessness**

It had taken Tessa six trips before she had finally emptied her car of all of the things she had purchased from both the liquor and grocery store. And by the time she had unpacked and put away all of the grocery and lined the alcohol against the wall near the tent, dusk had already fallen and she was wavering on her feet from the exhaustion. If she weren't so tired, she'd be worrying about the familiar cold tugging sensation that always meant she hadn't run fast or far enough away and rubbed her neck, trying to loosen the tension.

Looking around her dimly lit apartment, she glanced at the curtain-covered window and nodded, there would be no reflections for her to glance at by accident tonight or any other night. Quickly changing into her old sweats, she reached down and grasped a bottle of whisky in her trembling hand: she may be exhausted but the terror was already building and the pounding of worry in her veins made it next to impossible to close her eyes willingly. It was a familiar scene she had struggled with since she was younger, too afraid to sleep but too tired to do anything more than stare at the celling in failure. She yawned hugely as she unscrewed the metal cap on the whiskey and took a swill of the vile amber liquid. She shuddered but bit back a gag: it was the only remedy for her to keep on living.

It was something she had learned while in the hospital; they had given her daily doses of tranquilizers at night to ease her screaming and though it had made her pass out sometimes, when she awoke to find out she wasn't alone in her room, her reality splintered. At least with alcohol, the only affect it had on her was to act as a sedative. She straightened her shoulders and took three more gulps, crawling into the tent and zipping it shut. She didn't bother shutting the lights off in her apartment, it was already dark and regardless of anything, the light always made her feel marginally better. She tightened the cap on the bottle of whiskey; setting it aside so she could sprawl on the sleeping bags. Tessa felt the familiar warming of her limbs and the numbing of her senses, hating that she had to drink just to sleep. Staring at the orange ceiling of the tent, she let out a defeated sob; what did she ever do to deserve such a life? She had come from a good family that only ever wanted normal and yet…why wasn't she normal? Why couldn't she have been smart enough to not talk about her imaginary friends? To accept that she was different and not need vindication and understanding from her family? She wiped her eyes before the tears slid into her hair and held a hand to her mouth trying to stifle the painful sobs. Her entire life had been built on pretences and abandonment until she had found herself all alone fighting everyone, everything, and most of all, herself. There had been dark days when she had found herself staring at a bridge longingly, wishing she could end the days of shame and nights of terror but she hadn't then and she sure as hell wouldn't now. Though everyone in her past had given up on her, she hadn't given up on herself just yet. And she'd be damned before she ever gave into their wishes. But sometimes it was all too much: everything hurt and all she wanted to do was give in. She wouldn't admit defeat so easily but it was a fanciful dream that took the sting away from the inescapable truth of her reality. A lulling silence befell her nerves and she closed her eyes letting herself float on the waves of nothingness: hoping tonight would be a night away from her wretched existence of loneliness.

0000000000000000

Tessa woke with a jolt, gasping awake from the blankness of unconsciousness to hazy alertness. She rubbed her sore eyes and yawned, stretching with a moan of pleasure before settling herself on her stomach, her eyes closing on their own accord. She was in the in-between state of conscious slumber and was too tired to shake off the vestiges to worry about anything other than falling back to sleep. She rested her head on her arms and sighed happily, losing herself to the empty silence of the night. She heard a murmur and shook her head, not fully awake to understand anything other than her drowsiness.

About to fall back asleep she heard another murmur, her eyes popping opening in terror, the pounding of her heart beating in her eardrums. She quieted her breathing and clutched the pillow in her hands, not wanting to move or make a sound in case the murmuring had been imagined. She began trembling; hoping everything had been borne from her slumberous mind when something heavy fell against the tent. She shook her head and began counting; something a doctor had once told her would help with the terror. She felt her gorge rise at the mounting fear of something unknown scratching against the door of her tent. Regardless of how many years she had been haunted, she was still as scared as she had been the first time. She shuddered when she recognised a metallic clinking sound and realised _something _had grasped onto the two zippers to drag the tent door open. She scrambled into a sitting position and held a flashlight in her shaking hands: rocking back and forth in hopes to calm her beating heart and nauseated stomach. She heard another murmur and covered her mouth with her left hand, wishing she too had died all those years ago.

The alcohol had worn off many hours ago and if there had been any traces in her blood, the terror of facing something outside of her tent would have eradicated it. She heard whispered murmurs now, indistinct and overlapping, like two voices of giggling giddy children playing hide and go seek. She jumped and bit down on the corner of her lip until her mouth flooded with the sickly rich coppery taste of her own blood when the zippers were tugged apart, slowly descending on opposing sides of the door. She never greeted anything that haunted her, and even if she tried, her vocal chords were too entangled in fright to be of use. She sat there, watching in helpless horror as the tent flap slowly descended, an empty doorway greeting her. Tessa would rather have faced the entity as the tent door descended than have to crawl out of her safe haven into the unknown. There was one good thing in such terrifying moments; the ghosts never entered the tent for some reason, which she never bothered to question aside from being extremely grateful. She shook her head, there was no way she'd go out of that tent by her own accord, not when it was opened from the outside, not with the amount of whispered murmurs or impatient footsteps moving around. She shivered wishing she had something, _anything_ on her side for once.

"Shh, don't wake her."

"I think we already did, stupid."

"Don't call me stupid."

Tessa swallowed and straightened her shoulders, listening to the whispered voices of two different echoes that once were living. She sighed, the voices sounded young: painfully young and though Tessa hated her gift, she felt a surge of protectiveness ease some of her nerves. Some of the same protective instincts that had once caused her so much grief in the past. She hated the gift but she could never hate the dead for wanting closure, except for the thing that haunted her. It had taken her years to stop the hatred from blossoming and it had cost her too much to even list. She sighed, rubbing her tender eyes and placed the squished pillow beside her, slowly getting to her knees, "What are your names?" She called out, wanting them to chatter so it would ease some of her nerves. She knew if they were chattering as children tended to do, they wouldn't notice her slight flinch and jolt upon seeing them, something she could never quite control.

"I'm Abby." A young voice called out.

"I'm Samantha."

She nodded, crawling slowly out of the cave, biting her cut and bloody lip until her heartbeat calmed, adopting a nonchalant welcoming tone that bellied her shattered nerves, "I'm Tessa." She said glancing around until she saw two young children holding hands to her right of the tent. Her heart stopped for a beat but she swallowed down the urge to scream until she lost her voice. They were obviously twins with their shared looks, clutching hands, and despite being terrified, she felt a moment of deep grief for the two sisters clasping each other's hands in obvious confusion and slight fear. They both had shoulder length light brown hair, deep blue eyes and aside from their unnaturally pale skin, they looked perfectly healthy. She glanced around and stood, "How'd you know where to find me?" She asked pleasantly, as though they at a Sunday brunch.

One of the girls shrugged, "She told us you could help us, she said you enjoyed playing hide and go seek but we want our mommy too much to play right now." Tessa recognised the voice as Samantha and nodded, the words not sinking in just yet.

Tessa blanched a full minute later, "What did _she_ look like?"

"She was mean." Abby said moving closer to Samantha.

Samantha cradled Abby's shoulders, "She had long hair, longer than yours." She pointed to Tessa's chest length hair and moved her hand lower until it pointed to Tessa's stomach.

She nodded, feeling faint but steeled herself to keep fighting for the two lost little girls, "Where's your parents?"

"Daddy died when we were little and mommy's waiting for us." Samantha said.

Tessa nodded, knowing she couldn't tell the little girls they were dead just yet and settled for finding their mother for the time being, "Do you know where your mother is if I take you to her?" She asked quietly.

Abby nodded, "I'm very good at memo…memory…"

"She can memorize every small detail." Samantha boasted.

Tessa felt the tears build and nodded, swallowing down the urge to cry for them both, "Let me go get my car keys."

She bent into the tent and grabbed her keys, "Make sure you stay close to me." She said as she ushered them out of her apartment.

0000000000000000

Tessa pulled over to the side of the highway and stared at the overturned car a few metres away, "I would like to report a car accident." She said to the dispatcher over the phone. She gave all of the details and hung up, closing her eyes against the horror before her.

"Why are you crying?"

Tessa shook her head and wiped her eyes, "How do you feel about seeing your dad again?" She unbuckled her seatbelt and shifted to the passenger's seat where both girls sat, Abby sitting on Samantha's lap, "Don't you miss him?" She asked huskily, the building grief dusting her words.

Both girls nodded but Samantha spoke up first, "But mommy said he's dead."

Tessa nodded, "You can go with him and stay with him until your mommy joins you."

"But how long? I miss mommy!" Abby began crying and Samantha hugged her tighter.

Not bothering to wipe away the tears, she shook her head, "You won't even know a day has passed. It'll be quick if you go with your father." Tessa made a habit to never promise anything she couldn't keep, something she learned a long time ago and though she didn't know what lay before the two girls, she knew the dead had a different time lapse than the living. And for once, she felt a certainty settle in her bones and knew she was speaking the truth, "He'll take good care of you…he probably misses you as much as you miss him."

Abby quieted, "But what about mommy?"

Samantha glanced out into the dark and stared back at Tessa, understanding swimming in her young eyes and Tessa once again felt the pang of loss for the girls' lives and innocence, "Will you tell her something for us?"

Tessa nodded, "I can promise you that."

"Tell her that we love her and miss her…we'll be waiting for her with daddy." Samantha said and Tessa nodded, rubbing her nose with her sleeve.

"Look, Sammy. There's daddy!" Abby squealed and pointed to the other side of the highway, to something that Tessa couldn't see.

She got out and joined the twins on the side of the road; the night air eerily quiet, devoid of the normal sounds of crickets, "Be safe." She said and watched them walk to the opposing side of the road, disappearing into the darkness. All Tessa wanted to do was fall to her knees and cry at the injustice of life but she couldn't just yet, she had a message to pass on to their mother and if the girls' bravery taught her anything, it was to keep fighting.

She walked determinedly to the overturned car and sidestepped the broken glass and wreckage, gingerly kneeling besides the driver's window. She bent lower until her cheek touched the cool gravel and found a bloodied, unconscious woman still held to the seat by her seatbelt. She knew it would take the ambulance half an hour if they sped and though she wanted to reach over and pull the woman to safety, the dispatcher had been vehement in their orders of leaving the woman untouched. She remained like that even when her legs screamed in protest, when her arms began shaking under the strain of holding her up, she remained frozen; her eyes glued to the woman's face.

She didn't know how long she bent like that but soon she heard the distant wailing of sirens and knew it would be any time now for the woman to be saved. And still the woman didn't rouse from unconsciousness and though she had promised to pass on a message to the mother, she was glad she didn't wake up just yet. She knew from the bloody wounds, her health was still touch and go: it wouldn't do well for her to know of her daughters' deaths just yet. But when she woke in the hospital, she would have to face a lifetime devoid of both her husband and her children and she would need her strength for that.

Hearing the crunch of gravel and sirens nearing her, the night sky lighting up from the flashing lights of the ambulance and fire truck, Tessa stood, wavering on her feet from the draining adrenaline and terror, leaving exhaustion in its wake. She slowly moved away from the car, her muscles protesting from the movement and watched as firefighters and EMT workers passed her. She saw a few police cruisers and began walking towards their cars, readying a statement in her head.

0000000000000000

"It's a good thing you decided to go for a late drive." The police officer said once again glancing at her split and bloodied lip.

Tessa nodded and rubbed her neck, it had taken the police officer half and hour to take her statement after the initial five minutes of incredulity at her statement of _'I couldn't sleep so I decided to go for a drive to relax me but bit my lip by accident when I stopped the car suddenly'_. It had worked so many other times before and once again, it worked like a charm. "Do you have a piece of paper and a pen I can borrow? I just need to write a condolence letter to the woman." She said politely.

The officer nodded and tore out two papers from his small notebook and handed her his pen, "You did a good thing here tonight."

She shook her head, "I didn't do anything." She said wishing she could have saved the two girls. But she had learned long ago that she was in the miserable business of helping the dead, not saving the living.

She sauntered near the trunk of the cruiser, bending down and scrawling a note to the woman; she wrote more than what the twins had said but knew both girls felt the words. When they had sprawled and covered the two bodies of the girls with a sheet, Tessa hadn't bothered to look. She would rather remember people as they were when living then remember her last glance of their bodies frozen in death. That one truth didn't hold to what haunted her, she couldn't even distinguish the ugliness of death or the torture of life anymore when thinking about—"Were you the one that found them?"

Recognising the deep and slightly husky voice, she turned her head and found herself staring up at the tomato sauce man from earlier that night…though it seemed like ages ago. She glanced around her and found the fire fighters milling around the truck, "Are you all done?" She asked clearing her throat and staring at his gloved hands. It was easier than staring up at him; even though the night hid most, the flashing white and red lights still lit up his face and from what she had seen: the man was dangerous-looking, though more dangerous to her sense of stable loneliness than to her physical well-being.

He sighed quietly and nodded, "We'll be leaving soon…you didn't answer me. Did you find them?"

She frowned and folded the note a few times; too tired to point out that she had obviously found them since she was the only civilian present. But she needed a favour from him and knew from childhood that the only way to manipulate someone was to be pleasant, "Yes. I…I couldn't sleep so I decided to go for a drive." She said lamely, unnerved by his presence. She couldn't remember the last time someone willingly spoke to her and she sure as hell couldn't remember the time she ever felt this unnerved by a living person's presence.

He nodded and shook his head, "Well, it's a good thing you couldn't sleep but normal people watch TV or read something if they can't sleep. You should get your lip checked out."

Tessa felt an unfamiliar pang and frowned to herself, it was silly to get upset and hurt after the things she had seen tonight but still she couldn't help but bite back the petty words. She knew she wasn't normal; she had been locked away for being so far from normal that she was sick of hearing it. She may not be normal in society's eyes but she was damn normal to herself. She held out the folded note to him, "Can you make sure the woman gets this?"

Staring at her hand holding the note, she ignored the slight tremble and frowned when he still made no move to grab it, "Please? At least pass it on to the EMTs or something." She said, forcing the exhaustion away. She had promised Samantha and Abby: it was the only thing that kept her going.

"Why don't you go? I'm sure she'll want to thank you. And you need to get your lip looked at." He said still not moving and she brushed off the flutter of hope she felt thinking this strange man could ever care for her. They had only met once and she was far too weird for someone to even go out of their way for…he was only doing his duty as a concerned fireman.

"I didn't do anything. It was you and the EMTs that did everything. She'll want to talk to you…" Tessa didn't bother adding that the note would probably make the woman weep and possibly faint. She knew she couldn't look at the woman with the amount of guilt and shame she carried on her shoulders; though it was stupid to blame herself for not saving the twins lives, she couldn't rid the filth that settled under her skin. Not including the fact that she had spent many years in a hospital and she had no intention of ever setting foot in one ever again. "Please."

The desperation must have leaked through because he reached over and grasped it from her clenching fingers, "I'll make sure she personally gets it." He said quietly.

She nodded her thanks and placed the pen gently on the trunk of the cruiser, she needed to get back to bed fast or she was going to pass out from exhaustion right then and there. "What's your name?" He asked jarring her from her thoughts.

Tessa shook her head and mumbled an indistinct sound, turning on her heels and forcing herself to remain upright as she made her way to her parked car. She got in and slowly reversed until she had room to turn her small car around and once she was safely away from prying ears, she hit the radio button and turned the volume high enough to make her eyeballs hurt.

It took another twenty-minutes and a few broken speeding laws before she pulled haphazardly into her parking spot. Keeping her eyes downcast, she stumbled and quietly moaned to herself until she finally reached her apartment. She unlocked it and steeled herself to push the door open, the exhaustion moving aside for the slight fear that seeped into her veins. She didn't think anything else would come visit her and maybe she was being irrational but she still couldn't quell the nagging sensation of being watched from the back of her mind. She locked the door behind her and walked to her tent, glancing inside to make sure there were no nasty surprises and proceeded to lock herself away in safety; feeling much better after she was confined inside the annoyingly orange tent. It was only after two large swigs of whiskey that burned her cut lip that she finally able to settle on the sleeping bag, suddenly too tired to crawl under the covers. Her life was far from perfect and there may be moments of intense self-loathing but she would never stop fighting for survival, making sure she would have many more tomorrows. And tomorrow she could worry about what Samantha and Abby had said about _her._


End file.
